The Marauder Chronicles
by Eagle Lord
Summary: It's the sixth year for the Marauders and they are having the typical experiences. That's about all I can say.
1. Bad Words and Wuggles

Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew walked down the hall and climbed up into the Divination room. It was the second day of sixth year.  
  
The teacher, whose name, oddly enough, was Wuggles, was sitting at his desk eating a carrot.  
  
"Hello students." He said, speaking a little like the Duke in Muline Rouge. "Today . . . where is everyone else?"  
  
"They probably got lost." James said, taking a seat.  
  
"Lost?" Wuggles asked, nibbling annoyingly at the carrot like a rabbit. "They've had this class for three years!"  
  
"Well, we got lost last year . . ." Remus reminded him.  
  
"You only came to class about twice the whole year!" Wuggles replied.  
  
"We got lost except for twice the whole year." Sirius shouted, bouncing around signing the Tigger song.  
  
"There is no need to shout." Wuggles said glaring at him and eating a piece of lettuce.  
  
The one other member of Gryfindor for the Marauder's year, a boy named Ken who never told anyone his name for a good reason entered the room. The Marauder's called him Kahn because that was the closest thing they could manage.  
  
"Hi." He said and sat down far away from them. He was not a happy boy.  
  
The rest of the class, the Slytherins, came in and sat down. The class consisted of Severus Snape, Evan Rosier, Avery, Lucius Malfoy, triplets called Will, Bill and William who always spoke at the same time, Narcisa, a girl who was probably a squib called Nangela who called herself Angela, Jeremy Mead, Nangela's boyfriend who was really in Hufflepuff but pretended not do be, Nancy, another Sytherin girl, Jimmy, who was a seventh year who had taken extra classes the other years and didn't have any, Crabb and Goyle who could only say "Duh" in different ways, and Nott, a fourth year who wanted to meet the dark lord sooner than he might be able to otherwise so always took their classes. There were a lot more of these then there were Gryfindors.  
  
"Right." Wuggles said nibbling a turnip. "Today we will visit the great . . ."  
  
"The great what?" Snape asked, getting bored.  
  
"Treeeee!" Wuggles cried dramatically.  
  
"The great tree?" The triplets said. "Cool!"  
  
"What's so great about a tree?" Remus asked. That was what most people were thinking.  
  
"Does it talk?" Sirius asked, thinking of, well, some tree that talks.  
  
"Does it kill people?" Peter asked, sounding nervous.  
  
"You wish." Wuggles snorted, which made Peter somewhat alarmed because he defiantly did not with that.  
  
"So what does it do?" Lucius asked, dazing and thinking about something.  
  
"It is what give those of us with the inner eye our powers." Wuggles explained.  
  
"I thought everyone had the inner eye . . ." Lily thought about it.  
  
"No." Said Wuggles. "When you touch the tree, you get the inner eye."  
  
"I already have it." Rosier told everyone for the nth time. "My inner eye will speak to me any day now."  
  
"You're not psychic!" Everyone else yelled.  
  
"How is an eye going to talk to you anyway?" Nancy asked, rolling hers. "Shouldn't it just show you things?"  
  
"Yeah, what Nancy said." Avery chimed in. He was in love with Nancy, which she and everyone around them found very annoying.  
  
"Shut up, everyone." Wuggles told them all. "We will now go out into the forest."  
  
"You mean the forbidden one?" Snape asked.  
  
"Of course, there aren't any others around here." Sirius told him.  
  
"I know that!" Snape snapped. "I'm just trying to make the forbidden point here. We're not supposed to go out there."  
  
"Oh come on." Narcisa said, speaking in a very valley girl way. "You know you go out there, like, all the time."  
  
"How would you know?" He asked her.  
  
"I watch you." She sighed. "I just thought, you know, if you got depressed, like the time you tried to kill yourself, I could . . . make it better."  
  
"Make it better?" James laughed. "Geez, and you complain when we say you're just slutty."  
  
"That is a bad word!" Wuggles shouted at him, throwing his cabbage away and grabbing a bar of soap. He stuck it in James mouth, who choked and spit it out.  
  
"What was that for?" Lily asked.  
  
"I was cleaning out his mouth." Wuggles replied.  
  
"With a whole bar of soap?" Jimmy asked, jumping down from the counter he had been sitting on. "That's gross."  
  
"You only think that because you're a bloody vampire!" Malfoy told him. "You only like blood."  
  
"Another bad word!" Wuggles shouted, jumping at Lucius. He quickly retreated. "You have to take your medicine!"  
  
"Get away from me!" Lucius screamed in a very girly way. "I don't eat soap, I'm a Malfoy!"  
  
The two ran around the room for a few minutes and then both sat down, Lucius with a bar of soap in his mouth.  
  
"We will now," Wuggles panted, "Go out to the tree."  
  
The class marched out to the forest and walked for a while. They then stopped in front of an old, dead pine tree with all kinds of rotting branches coming out off it.  
  
"Now," Wuggles told them, "You will touch the tree and you will acquire the inner eye. I will leave you now to befriend the tree. Remember to respect it. I will be watching from a great distance."  
  
"Anything you say." Remus said, already climbing up into the tree. "Hey you guys, this old thing is pretty good for climbing."  
  
James and Sirius followed. Lily stayed on the ground, looking nervous and absentmindedly patting the tree. Peter looked scared and started to climb as well.  
  
"Remember to 'respect the tree'." Snape mocked Wuggles, also starting to climb. Some people stayed on the ground, others climbed it.  
  
"Right." James said. "I just knocked a branch off, you guys."  
  
"It was dead anyway." Sirius told him, knocking a few off on purpose. Wuggles yelled at them to respect the tree from a great way away.  
  
Both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students from their year walked up. "We were sent down here!" One yelled. A branch hit him in the head. A few more unfortunate events and an all-out brawl broke out. 


	2. Brawling and Duels

Sorry to those of you who said I spelled things wrong last time, I checked the spellings this time and hope they are all right.   
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own this stuff  
  
Wuggles, having decided to stand a great distance away, did not arrive for some time to stop the brawl. The students beat at each other for a long time.  
  
Remus, who had climbed a tree, was watching with interest as James, who had fallen out, go this hair pulled by Narcissa.   
  
Sirius was cheering and jumping up and down on Avery, who was not doing much about it.  
  
"Get off me, I'm a Malfoy!" Lucius cried while a girl from Ravenclaw with black hair and black eyes sat on him hitting him in the face. She seemed to be enjoying it.  
  
Peter was at the top of the tree, somehow, making squeaky noises.  
  
"You guys!" Lily yelled at them "You should be fighting! Hello!"  
  
"Shut up, Mudblood!" Rosier told her while attempting to tell the tree psychically that is was a fraud.   
  
"Oh, I'm so offended." Lily said rolling her eyes. "Really, I am. I am very mad that you called me that bad, bad word."  
  
"You should be." He told her.  
  
James ran over and poked him in the eye. Right about then Wuggles showed up and jumped up on a stump. He then started to jump up and down screaming at them.   
  
"Ten points from Gryffindor! Ten points from Slytherin! Ten points from Hufflepuff! Ten points from . . ."  
  
The black haired girl punched him in the mouth. It was a relief to everyone.  
  
"Ravenclaw!" Wuggles yelled at her. "Now calm down and remember, respect the tree."  
  
He walked away, much to the surprise of everyone. They shrugged and started to fight again. After awhile, a new professor called McGonagall walked up.  
  
She clapped both hands over her mouth and gasped at the sight, be slightly weak-stomached.   
  
Remus spotted her and waved from the tree where he was kicking Nott in the face. "Hi Minny!"  
  
"McGonagall to you, student!" She yelled. Wuggles approached again. "What do we do, what do we do?"  
  
"I am not entirely certain." He said, wagging his finger at Sirius who was biting Snape in the leg.  
  
"Hey everyone, stop fighting!" Lily yelled as loud as she could. They stopped, out of shock for the most part.   
  
"Good." Said McGonagall. "Now what?"  
  
"I'm in quite a lot of pain here." A Hufflepuff said, lying in front of Crabbe Goyle who had been standing there stupidly the whole fight.  
  
"Duh." Said Crabbe.  
  
"Duh." Said Goyle.  
  
"Ouch." Said the kid.  
  
"Come along, whoever you are." McGonagall said the kid. "To Dumbledore's office."  
  
"Don't you think he should go to the hospital wing?" Lily asked looking concerned. "He's bleeding."  
  
"No, Dumbledore will know what to do." She said, grabbing him and walking off.  
  
"That's her answer for everything." Wuggles said nibbling a carrot. "She's quite mad."   
  
***  
  
The Slytherins and Gryffindors were left standing below the tree and some in it. Peter was squeaking annoyingly.   
  
"Hmpf." Said Lucius brushing himself off. "That was not fun."  
  
"And you should have nothing but fun, because you're a Malfoy." Nancy added, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Like, totally." Narcissa added, batting her eyes at Lucius. "Maybe after classes I could help you with that."  
  
"With what?" Lucius asked, looking dumb.  
  
"Never mind." Narcissa sighed.  
  
"You know, we should totally duel, you guys!" Sirius yelled, bouncing around.   
  
"What, like five on five?" James asked.  
  
"I was thinking four on four, but yeah!" Sirius said, smiling at Lily.  
  
"Hey." She said.  
  
"Probably not a good idea." Remus said, climbing down. "I mean Peter can't even get out of that tree. HEY PETE, JUST CLIMB DOWN, IT'S EASY! He could be here all night."  
  
"Good point." Sirius and James said, looking up and the squeaking Peter.  
  
"No no, we should." Malfoy said, grinning as close to evilly as he could. "It would be . . . interesting."  
  
"Trying to think of the word?" Remus asked, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"No, I was trying to be suspenseful."   
  
"Look ma, big words." James said.  
  
"I'm not sure suspenseful is quite what you were going for." Lily added, trying to knock Peter out of the tree with a long, pointed stick.  
  
"Yeah, try dramatical." Sirius put in.  
  
"That's not a word." Snape said. "But your timing was off, too, Lucius. You were a little late."  
  
"I Malfoy is never late, or early. He arrives precisely when he means to! And stop antilizing me!" Lucius snapped.  
  
"Analyzing." The triplets said. Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Whatever!" Lucius yelled at her.  
  
"Yeah, like, whatever y'all." Narcissa told them, waving her hand. "He can, like, do whatever he wants. He's to totally a Slytherin, not, like, gag-me-with-a-spoon, a Gryffindor."  
  
"Right . . ." Said Lily, staring at her. "So you guys, we can't duel, that's against the rules."  
  
"No, we can!" Said Sirius, like it was a fact. "Really, we'll meet at dawn at the gates of Hogwarts . . . 


	3. Gates and Decisions

"And, being the better man, will quickly overcome my adversary." Sirius continued. "Whereupon, we will retire to a nearby café . . ."  
  
"Shut up!" Snape told him, much to the relief of all the others.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked. "I like talking in a very repetitive way about the victory over Lieutenant Green of the queens's marines!"  
  
"Right . . ." Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. "So are we gonna duel or not? I'm a busy Malfoy, I haven't got all day."  
  
"Yeah, well we've got to set a time and date . . ." James said, looking thoughtful. "That way it's like a real duel."  
  
"You guys!" Lily said, glaring at James, "We can't fight! It's against the rules."  
  
They all stared at her.  
  
"Anyway," Remus said, turning back to the Slytherins, "How 'bout tomorrow at dawn at the gates of Hogwarts?"  
  
"Deal." The triplets said.  
  
***  
  
The next morning in the Gryffindor common room:  
  
"Soooo . . ." James said, looking around at the others, "Where exactly ARE the gates of Hogwarts? Are there even any?"  
  
"I don't know!" Sirius shouted. "But let's go anyway, I feel like fighting."  
  
"Um, Sirius?" Remus said, rolling his eyes. "We can't go if we don't know where to go."  
  
"Well, let's think about this." James said. "We must pass through the gates when we get here every year, right?"  
  
"If there are gates." Remus added.   
  
"Right, if there are gates. Anyway, does anyone remember seeing gates?"  
  
"What exactly is the difference between a gate and a fence?" Sirius asked, looking completely serious.  
  
"Um, gates are bigger and made out of metal." Remus suggested.   
  
"Not always, they could be small." James said. "But how about just telling us whether you have seen a fence or a gate lately."  
  
  
  
"No. You Remus?"  
  
"No. You Peter? Hey, where's Peter."  
  
Lily walked downstairs. "You guys left him outside yesterday in that tree. Remember not being able to get him down?"  
  
"Oh yeah . . ." They all said.  
  
"Well, we have to get him first." James told them. "We can decide about the gates on the way down to the tree."  
  
Meanwhile, in the Slytherin common room:  
  
"Soooo . . ." Malfoy said, "There are a lot of us. Who's going to fight? There can only be five."  
  
"Like, I will." Narcissa said, filing her nails and looking at them. "It's, like, bitching and stuff. Totally."   
  
"Ok, how about not . . ." Lucius sighed, looking at her.  
  
"Ok!" Nott said, "If you really want me to."  
  
"No, the other not!" Lucius glared.  
  
"What other Nott?" The triplets said, looking confused.   
  
"Yeah, there's only one." Will said. The others glared at him.  
  
"Yeah, there's only one." They all said together.  
  
"No, I mean . . ." Lucius started to try again.  
  
"Who cares?" Jimmy said. "Nott's not fighting and neither is Narcissa."  
  
"I will." Nancy said, looking bored and tired. It was just before dawn, so they were not really wide awake.  
  
"Yeah, all right." Lucius said, sighing. "And I am, too."  
  
"Say's who?" Avery said. "Why should you get to fight? You're not even that good."  
  
"You shouldn't question me, I'm a Malfoy! I always get to fight."  
  
"Fine." Avery said grumpily. "But I want to too."  
  
"Ok, who else? We need two more." Lucius said, groaning.  
  
"I will." Snape said. He was reading and not really paying attention.  
  
"Yeah, me too!" Rosier said.  
  
"No, he'll try to psychic them!" Nancy complained. "Let's take Jimmy."  
  
"No way, I'm not involved." Jimmy said, backing away. "This is your crazy little duel. Why don't you just turn them in for being out of the castle this early in the morning?"  
  
"That's an idea." Lucius said, looking thoughtful.  
  
"No, we can't back out now." Snape said. "We're not that wimpy."  
  
"Oh fine." Lucius said, looking annoyed. "So we're taking me, Severus, Nancy, Avery, and Jimmy."  
  
"No, you're not taking me!" Jimmy said. "I told you I'm not involved."   
  
"Fine, then we'll just have to deal with Rosier." Lucius sighed. "Let's go."  
  
"No!" The triplets cried. "We want to go!"  
  
"That won't work, we'll have to get rid of three people that way!" Snape told then.   
  
"I don't have to go." Nancy said.   
  
"Neither do I." Avery told them.  
  
"Well, I really don't need to." Rosier sighed, looking annoyed.   
  
"But the triplets all fight at once." Jimmy pointed out, flipping through a Playboy magazine.  
  
"Hey, can I see that?" Lucius asked, perking up.  
  
"No!" Jimmy and Narcissa said at once.   
  
"Yeah, it's mine." Jimmy said. "For my eyes only."  
  
"Like that James Bond song, 'For Your Eyes Only'." Lucius said, dazing.   
  
"James who?" Avery asked, looking at Lucius in a funny way.  
  
"Oh, um, no one." Lucius said quickly.  
  
"Oh, just checking." Avery said. "So who's going?"  
  
"I want to!" Nott spoke up again.  
  
And so the morning continued, the Gryffindors trying to knock the squealing Peter out of a tree, the Slytherins trying to decide who should go to the gates of Hogwarts that day. 


	4. Heaven or Hell?

Outside at the tree, Lily had retrieved her pointed stick and had managed to get Peter halfway down the tree. The others were leaning against it and talking about the gates.  
  
"Well," Remus was saying, "We could try going to somewhere else's gates."  
  
"Like the gates of Heaven!" James said, perking up. "No wait, I doubt we could get that high. People took down Jacob's Latter, didn't they?"  
  
Lily gave him an odd look.  
  
"Well, if we can't go high," Sirius said dramatically, "There are always . . . the gates of Hell!"   
  
"Doesn't Hell have gates?" Remus asked, looking thoughtful. "I always imagined like a hole in the ground or something."  
  
"Sure it does!" Sirius told him. "Like in the song."  
  
"What song?" James asked.   
  
"'Murdering Stravinsky'. There's something about at the gates of Hell." Sirius said, looking, once again, quite serious.  
  
"We could go there." Remus said, standing away from the tree.   
  
Lily stared at him. "You can't be serious."  
  
"No, I am!" Sirius yelled, jumping up and down.  
  
"Well," James said, looking around the forest, "Where exactly would they be, these gates of Hell?"  
  
"Stop saying that word!" Lily said, knocking Peter out of the tree onto her head.  
  
"What, Hell?" James asked, looking confused.  
  
"Yes!" Gasped Lily.  
  
"Oh, are you talking about HELL?" Remus asked.  
  
"Stop it, she's really religious." James said. "Her family is one of those good Christian ones."  
  
"That's right." Lily said, looking proud.  
  
"Oh . . ." Peter said, rolling over. "I'm awake. I'm here."  
  
"Nice to know." James said, helping him up. "So, the Gates of, um, Heck it is, huh?"  
  
"You guys," Lily cut in, "Hate to spoil your fun, but there is no way that we are going to find these gates. No one even knows if they exist, and we aren't going to be able to just walk there."  
  
"She's got a point." Remus nodded.   
  
"And even if we COULD find them," Lily continued, "The Slytherins would be going to the gates of Hogwarts."  
  
"What is there are no gates of here?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Let's just stay here." Peter said. "I don't think I can walk anyway."  
  
And so the Gryffindors stood there, waiting and waiting, until five Slytherins, Lucius, Severus, Nancy, Avery, and Jimmy walked up. They all looked bruised and uncomfortable.   
  
"Are you ready to RUMBLE?" Sirius asked.  
  
***  
  
A/NL: This chapter was short, I know, but I wanted to update and I only had a little time. The next one will introduce the black haired Ravenclaw and have a little bit of actual dueling . . . I hope. 


	5. To Duel or Not to Duel

The beaten up looking Slytherins faced the bored looking Gryffindors. They drew their wands at once, but no one did anything.   
  
"Um, why aren't we cursing?" Snape asked Lucius, who was in the front.  
  
"We need to banter first." He said as though it was obvious. "Duh."  
  
"Oh my God." Jimmy said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"You're not allowed to say God, you're a vampire." Avery said, sticking his tongue out.  
  
"Oh sure, that's mature. And I'M NOT A VAMPIRE!" Jimmy shouted over at Avery.  
  
"Anyway," Nancy said, rolling her eyes, "Banter already Lucius, I want to fight. I don't even know why I'm out here."   
  
"Ok." Lucius said, clearing his throat. "You are . . . um . . . well . . ." He drifted off into mumbling and thinking very hard.  
  
"Oh for Pete's sake!" Jimmy said. "Banter or fight already! I'm getting bored."  
  
"Who exactly is Pete?" Sirius asked.  
  
"What?" Jimmy said. "You mean Pettigrew?"   
  
"No no, people are always saying for Pete's sake." Sirius continued. "Who is this Pete and what makes him so special? Why is everything for his sake?"   
  
"I don't know . . ." Jimmy said, thinking about this. "Well, there's a Pete in that Pete and Repeat went for a boat ride thing . . . but he's not that special I guess, he just falls out of the boat."  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said James.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Sirius.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Remus.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Peter.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Lily.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Nancy.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Avery.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Jimmy.  
  
"Hmm . . ." Said Snape.  
  
"I've got it!" Said Lucius, jumping out of his train of thought.  
  
"Who Pete is?" Sirius asked with excitement.  
  
"No, what I can say to you guys." Lucius said, happily pulling himself up into a fighting pose. "Those rings you all wear are really girly. Who wears rings anyway?"  
  
"You mean our Marauder rings?" Sirius asked. "The ones a made out of peanuts in Transfiguration?"  
  
"Hey!" Said James, getting angry.  
  
"No, be fair James." Sirius said, holding him back. "He could be right, they might be girly. After all, he does have the most experience with such things."  
  
"Good point." Remus nodded, looking skeptically at Lucius.  
  
"I'm not girly!" Lucius said, tugging self-consciously at the black velvet hair ribbon he tied his rib-length hair back with.   
  
"What's your middle name? Arwen?" James questioned, smirking.  
  
"And I don't look like an elf!" He said, pushing some or his long blond hair out of his eyes and putting it back again, slicked back in the front and long in the back. He pulled nervously on the bottom of his slightly pointed ears.  
  
"Anyway, let's fight." Snape said, looking at Lucius in a new way all of a sudden.   
  
"I can't stand up." Peter commented, picking flowers on the ground. His wand was sitting next to him harmlessly.  
  
"Yeah, and I don't feel very good." Remus told Sirius, who looked concerned.   
  
"Maybe we should do this some other time." Sirius told James, who nodded. They huddled for a moment.  
  
"You know, I have nothing to say right now." James said. "Why are we huddling again? Is there something I need to be telling people?"  
  
"I have no idea." Lily said. "I think we already know everything that we need to say."  
  
"Yeah, we'll tell them that we can pick this up next week." Sirius said, trying to help Peter up. "They're not at their best either. Snape can hardly see, he has two black eyes."  
  
"Good point." Remus said, glancing over at the Slytherins who were looking kind of stupid and staring at them.  
  
"Hold on you guys." James told them. "We need to think about this for a minute. Come on everyone, up into the tree."  
  
They all climbed up to the top of the tree and sat down. James looked at everyone one relaxing in the tree and then yelled down to the Slytherins.  
  
"Ok, we're done!" He told them. "Come back next week, we're not ready to fight right now."  
  
"Hey! You played us!" Malfoy yelled. "You can't do this, I'm a Malfoy and I want to fight right now! This instant! Now now now now now!"   
  
"Calm down." Jimmy said, turning to walk away. "It's not a big deal."   
  
"Hold on!" Snape said. "You all made this duel date, you can't break it!"  
  
"Duel Date." James said, sounding it out. "That's cool. It aliterates. Awesome. Duel Date."  
  
"Right . . ." Said Sirius, "But that's not as cool as Funny Frog."   
  
"Funny Frog?" Remus asked. "What's that? And how is it cool?"  
  
"I made it up." Sirius explained. "It sounds like one of the names of one of those tz shows. You know, the car toons."  
  
"No no no!" Lily said. "TV! And it's cartoons, not car toons."  
  
Just then a girl with long black hair that James recognized from the fight the day before walked up and stood under the tree.  
  
"Hi Sev." She said. 


End file.
